Relationship——how do we understand it
We have a relationship because we feel we need more than what we can give to ourselves, and it can only come from the external.
What we need the most from other people is based on our emotional needs.
If most of our emotional needs are met, it’s a satisfying relationship. But if they are not met, instead, being denied, rejected, and worsened, then it becomes toxic, sometimes abusive.
The needs people have in a relationship can vary greatly from person to person, depending on their individual experiences, values, and personalities. However, some common needs that many people might have in a relationship include:
Emotional Support: We all need someone who can provide us with emotional support, whether we are going through a tough time or just need someone to talk to. A supportive partner can help us feel understood and validate our emotions.
Trust: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We need to be able to rely on our partner and trust that they will be honest with us, keep their promises, and remain faithful.
Communication: Effective communication is essential in any relationship. We need to be able to express our thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, and be willing to listen to our partner as well.
Respect: We all want to feel respected and valued by our partner. This means treating each other with kindness, empathy, and consideration, and not belittling or demeaning one another.Cleveland HeightBed Therapists
Shared Values: It's important to have shared values with our partner, such as similar beliefs about family, religion, politics, and lifestyle choices. Having shared values can help create a sense of shared purpose and direction in the relationship.
Independence: While we want to feel connected to our partner, we also need to maintain our own individuality and independence. This means having our own hobbies, interests, and friendships outside of the relationship.
Intimacy: Intimacy can mean different things to different people, but it generally refers to a sense of closeness, connection, and physical or emotional intimacy with our partner. We need to feel comfortable being vulnerable with our partner and expressing our needs and desires.
Sexual needs and desires: What's most important is that both partners feel comfortable discussing their sexual needs and desires with each other, and that they are able to communicate openly and honestly about their expectations and boundaries around sex.
Fun and Laughter: Relationships should also be enjoyable and fun. It's important to have a sense of humor and to be able to have fun with our partner, whether it's through shared activities or simply spending time together.
Security: We all want to feel safe and secure in our relationships. This means feeling secure in our partner's love and commitment, and having a sense of stability and predictability in the relationship.
Growth and Learning: A healthy relationship can also provide opportunities for personal growth and learning. This can come from learning new things together, challenging each other to try new things, or supporting each other in pursuing personal goals and aspirations.
List of Emotional Needs
1. Love and belonging
2. Self-esteem and recognition
3. Sense of control
4. Privacy
5. Safety
6. Self-expression
7. Fun and leisure
8. Meaning and purpose
9. Growth and learning
10. Spirituality
11. Recognition of emotions
12. Emotional support
13. Honesty and authenticity
14. Autonomy and independence
15. Empathy and compassion.
16. A sense of security
17. Acceptance
18. Respect
19. Attention and affection
20. Support during difficult times
21. A sense of community
22. Opportunities for personal growth
23. A sense of accomplishment
24. A sense of organized
25. A sense of freshness and adventure
List of Emotional Needs continues
26. A sense of peace and calm
27. A sense of having a home
28. Encouragement and motivation.
29. A sense of having enough space
30. A positive outlook on life
31. A sense of having a choice
32. A sense of balance
33. A sense of unity
34. A sense of well-being
35. A sense of fairness
36. A sense of justice
37. A sense of reliability
38. A sense of predictability
39. A sense of trust
40. A sense of hope.
41. A sense of freedom
42. A sense of competence and confidence
43. A sense of stability
44. A sense of dignity
45. A sense of belonging to a cultural or social group
46. A sense of connection to the world
47. A sense of loyalty from others
48. A sense of being understood and validated
49. A sense of having physical intimacy
50. A sense of passion.
Local Resources for Relationship Traumas (Cleveland, Cleveland Heights, Columbus, and Cincinnati):
The Domestic Violence & Child Advocacy Center - provides emergency shelter, crisis hotline, legal advocacy, counseling, and other services for victims of domestic violence and their families. Their website is https://dvcac.org/ and their 24-hour hotline is (216) 391-HELP (4357).
Cleveland Rape Crisis Center - provides services for survivors of rape, sexual abuse, and human trafficking, including counseling, advocacy, and support groups. They also offer prevention education and training programs. Their website is https://clevelandrapecrisis.org/ and their 24-hour hotline is (216) 619-6192.
The Nord Center - offers a variety of mental health and wellness services, including counseling, crisis intervention, and support groups for survivors of relationship violence. They also provide education and prevention services. Their website is https://www.nordcenter.org/ and their crisis hotline is (800) 888-6161.
The Women's Center of Greater Cleveland - offers counseling, support groups, and other services for survivors of relationship violence. They also provide education and advocacy programs. Their website is https://womensctr.org/ and their phone number is (216) 881-6878.
Men's Health and Wellness Center - provides counseling and support groups for men who have experienced relationship violence. They also offer education and prevention programs. Their website is https://www.mhwc.us/ and their phone number is (216) 651-9601.
Al-Anon - provides support groups for family members and friends of individuals struggling with addiction. Their website is https://al-anon.org/ and their phone number is (888) 425-2666.
CHOICES for Victims of Domestic Violence: https://www.choicescolumbus.org/ CHOICES for Victims of Domestic Violence is a nonprofit organization that provides services to individuals and families affected by domestic violence in Columbus and the surrounding areas. They offer a 24-hour hotline, emergency shelter, counseling, legal advocacy, and more.
Columbus Coalition Against Family Violence: https://www.ccafv.org/ The Columbus Coalition Against Family Violence is a nonprofit organization that provides education, awareness, and advocacy to end domestic violence in Central Ohio. They offer a range of services, including community education, professional training, legal advocacy, and more.
Women Helping Women: https://www.womenhelpingwomen.org/ Women Helping Women is a nonprofit organization that provides services to individuals and families affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking in Cincinnati and the surrounding areas. They offer a 24-hour hotline, emergency shelter, counseling, legal advocacy, and more.
Co-Dependents Anonymous (Cincinnati): https://www.coda.org/ Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) is a mutual help group for individuals who struggle with codependency and unhealthy relationships. The Cincinnati chapter of CoDA offers meetings throughout the city, including both in-person and virtual meetings.